Monday, September 15, 2008

..."YOU CAN BE"...

About 2 hours before this incident happened,I was on ma seat staring at the wall and wondering whether I did the right thing by going there.I din't know how to describe that feeling (or) I would rather say I din't even know what exactli I felt.Maybe it is not uncommon among people who-after a gap of nearli 1 n half years-attend a mathematics lecture in a classroom to help them wid their backlog examinations...
Quite contradictory to wat I initially thot,in just 2 hours time I kinda started enjoying the place-more because of the challenge and the pleasure of being the "first" every time...And that "uncomfortable" and "outa place" feeling which I thot wud go on forever dropped to ZERO...

"Tell me the answer soon",said the lecturer with a triumphant smile on his face for having given a difficult problem which he thot would take atleast 15 minutes to be solved by the best student in the class...Just 4 minutes after that statement, seeing ma hand raised, the sir walked towards ma seat with an expression which showed his readiness to solve any doubt I had...Soon after he saw ma book and the solved problem in it,his expression changed and showed "confusion".He asked "How cum U failed in ur exams???", for which I replied "Sir,a student fails because he is not gud and upto the mark at the subject."...The rudeness in ma tone and ma answer kinda irritiated him,I guess.He just shook his head unconvincingly and walked off.Then suddenly he turned and said "YOU CAN BE a very good student.".........

That night while I was on ma bed trying to sleep-howmuchever I tried to push it off-the first 3 words of the last statement which ma lecturer made kept coming back to ma mind---"YOU CAN BE".I wondered about the number of times I heard those 3 words in ma life without paying any attention and heed to it...
From ma college lecturer "YOU CAN BE a topper"
from ma manager "YOU CAN BE good at management"
from ma friend "YOU CAN BE a good writer"
from ma friend who plays guitar "YOU CAN BE a good guitarist"
The common phrase was "YOU CAN BE" and all those people TRULY believed in ma CAPABILITIES.I could've been so mani things BUT.........
Maybe I was proud, maybe careless, maybe insane and maybe a foolish 18,19 and a 20 year old guy who thought that the world would always run on his terms and life would be a cakewalk.Whatever the thinking was at that time-the result was-me NOT being a guitarist,me NOT getting into writing,me NOT into management(atleast not as of now) and me FAILING my graduation examinations.

Though it was the HARD WAY,I learnt a very important lesson which I would always remember..."Capability" and "Performance" are 2 closeli related attributes.A person might be very capable but as long as he does not perform,as long as he does not put that capability to use,he is USELESS...It is like a person in a fight who doesn't know how to defend himself and another person who knows how to defend himself but DOES NOT...BOTH END UP GETTING KILLED...

Having said all this...I would like to add that I am NOT the kinda person who gets "KILLED" easily or who gets tagged "USELESS" easily...And drawing inspiration from the saying "BETTER LATE THAN NEVER" I would definateli veri soon upgrade the "YOU CAN BE" statement to "YOU ARE".........